10 things i noticed during a Sex and The City Marathon!

So recently I decided to marathon Sex and The City. Why would any sane heterosexual male do such a thing? Well because I was 5 seasons into Smallville and Clark Kent still couldn't fly...and he wasn't trying to make moves on Lois Lane. But also we used to watch Sex and The City in some classes i took in undergrad so I kinda always wanted to see what the hype was about. Plus business school starts in 10 days so I might as well veg out for a spell. Well I'm about 2.5 seasons into the series and there are a few things that I've noticed:

1. How much does the NYTimes pay a columnist- I mean seriously, how can Carrie afford this life? She's always buying new shoes and talking about maxing out a credit card. For the rest of us maxing out a credit card generally means a credit score plummeting towards 600. For Carrie? Yea it's just a way to get over a bad one month relationship. Also of note, expensive shoes in 1999 were $400. Will that even get you half of a pair of Christian Louboutins these days? 
2. What the hell did we do before cellphones? As someone late to the cellphone game (I officially got a cellphone at the age of 21, in 2006) it was so weird to see people leaving voicemails on house phones or even using a pay phone. Seriously, I don't remember the last time I saw a pay phone that wasn't outside a liquor store, which happened to be across the street from a county jail, and next door to a bail bondsman. Also there was a cellphone sighting. It was a flip phone and I'm pretty sure it was the size of an ipad.
3. Where are the Black people?-  I haven't seen a single black character aside from the extras (one black chick in a day spa scene had some epic cakeage though). Speaking of the day spa sauna scene, brazilian waxes weren't too popular back in 2000. Bush on bush on Bush, you see what I did there? Me neither. But yea this show is incredibly White and yes I know Blair Underwood will be a character down the line, but this show is like Girls with hotter middle-aged women. 
4. Apparently smoking cigarettes used to be really cool- Is that how SJP stays so slim? I swear she smokes a cigarette every 3.5 minutes. I reckon by season six she'll be talking out of her throat and whistling like a busted pair of airmax 95s when she walks.  But i've seen the movie, so i know that doesn't happen. But yea anybody who's lived in NY recently knows that those damn stop smoking commercials are on damn near every commercial break. And they don't care if you're eating dinner, they'll show you a grandpa with no throat or an amputee with skin that looks like a used condom. Who knew cigarettes were that dangerous? Definitely not Carrie Bradshaw. Oh yea, how the hell does she manage to make out so much with smoker's breath? 
5. Speaking of making out...- These women get more action in a single season than I've probably gotten in my entire life...okay definitely more than I've gotten post-college. And the concept of time on this show is really fluid. I guess they don't want you to think that the women are getting older but somehow towards the end of season 2, Carrie kept saying her and Big had been in a relationship for 2 years. I'm like did I miss something?! And while we're at it...
6. So...Is nobody gonna admit that Carrie is delusional? - I get it, she's the star of the show. But she is the queen of overreacting. She's also incredibly selfish but too in love with love to see it. And I'd argue that most people won't see it. She's awfully demanding for someone who's not THAT pretty. Personality will get you far but there's a reason Big married Natasha...she was pretty, but also, she was easy to love.  I've dated women like this though; who are so selfish in their quest for love that they never stop to think how YOU feel. And ultimately it turns into finding fault with everything you do or don't do to make them feel loved. Carrie never thought to ask Big why he didn't want her crap at his house, or why he preferred to sleep in his bed, or why he wouldn't introduce her to his mom...until it was too late. But even still she didn't take the time to try to understand where Big was coming from and by the time she spoke up about her feelings, the pot was boiling over. 
7. Mr Big is misunderstood- To the women out there Big might be an asshole. But i've been trying to view this series from both gender perspectives. I get how the things he does could make Carrie go crazy. For example, the not telling her about moving to Paris thing. If you're a woman, it might feel like he isn't including you in his future. But if you're a man, like me, you don't make plans for you and someone else, until those plans are concrete. No man wants to be the one to have a woman move halfway across the world just to have the job fall through. Plus if he tells her too soon, she'll start worrying about the future, and if he doesn't even need to go to Paris in the end, it's a lot of worry for nothing. But then there's the other thing about Big. He's done the love thing multiple times. Sure Carrie is great, but so were the other women at some point. What makes her so different? What makes this time the right one? And as much as Carrie complains about what he doesn't do how the hell is he supposed to feel adequate? Again Carrie only focused on how she wants to be loved, and not much on Big's capacity to love. What is love without compromise? Single life...
8. They make being single look so great- I guess if you're a single woman, dating is awesome. Chances are you can at least get one free meal out of the deal without even having to put out. I on the other hand kept thinking...single life is damned expensive. And honestly they must have the BEST luck when it comes to meeting guys. They're always meeting what seems to be Cosmo's most eligible bachelor (or whatever magazine middle aged white women read, that isn't owned by Oprah). And when the guy isn't the dream guy on paper he's incredibly loving and a great lover in the sack. Like Miranda's guy, Steve. Yea...the rest of us don't get so lucky
9. Apparently the rest of us just aren't getting laid enough- I'm sure Samantha stopped keeping track of bodies a long time ago but she's always getting it in. And for the rest of the ladies all these great dates seem to turn into great sexual escapades. Yea there are some weird things happening along the way, but if this is what happens when you take a woman to a nice restaurant, I need to get me a good job QUICK
10. They're really just selling a fantasy- As someone who considers himself a realist (i'm sure some who say pessimist) I just keep asking myself...HOW ARE THEY AFFORDING ALL THIS?! And they only seem to have to work like once every 5 episodes. But that's the fantasy that they sell on this show. Pursue your happiness, buy those shoes that you can't really afford. Sacrifice the light bill for that beautiful dress that shows off your figure. Get laid as much as you want. Time stands still as you search for love. But if watching this show is what makes you happy, then go for it. And even if that fantasy life never leaves your head, I guess it's better than no fantasy at all. 
11. Bonus- I've realized that I can enjoy this show without having to physically watch it. I often listen to the episodes while I play video games. I'm not sure if that means the show has great writing/acting or if i really just don't give a damn about whatever outfits they have on or how hot the guys look. 

I will say that I'm enjoying this show a lot more than I expected to. Now back to the marathon! 

Privileged People Know Best?!

Today I read an article from The Guardian about the reality show "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo". And the author made the point that the reason the show is so popular is because people take great joy in laughing at the "classlessness" of the Thompson family. To me it seems like people watch Honey Boo Boo for opposite reason they watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians. One show they mock, the other they fawn.

But this got me to thinking about the rampant classism in our society. And it's not just society's problem as a whole, if you look closely it's in your inner circle more than likely. And if you want to be honest and look in the mirror, you probably perpetuate the problem too. I know i'm guilty of it sometimes. While people the likes of Mitt Romney, get criticized for their classism, i guarantee the folks around you claiming to be the most liberal will say some classist shit when the opportunity arises. I think at the root of it, is that we as people need to feel like we're better than somebody else on some level. And often the most visible level aside from beauty is money.  With money often comes a certain level of privilege. And the underlying notion for a lot of classist comments I encounter is the idea that privileged people know what's best for the rest of us.

Anybody who knows me personally knows that I grew up really poor. Shit i'm 27 and I'm STILL poor. I think my salary once maxed out at about $23k thanks to a summer fellowship. That's not to say i'm impoverished or privileged in certain arenas. But I certainly haven't been fortunate enough to experience life on the same levels as some of my peers. And honestly, I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't self-conscious about it. (that certainly led to my foolish purchase of a BMW I couldn't afford).  I really didn't realize how "poor" i was until I got to college. It was there that I was told that there was something wrong with eating ramen noodles. ( I figured there was something wrong with enduring hunger pangs just to avoid eating something high in sodium). It was also where I heard that being on welfare somehow made a person/family less-than.  Also not owning a passport became a crime punishable by flogging. Not having a savings account got you sent to the stockades. I soon realized that this kind of mindset was not limited to elite private colleges. I've seen it on Twitter and Facebook.  Even as recently as a few days ago, I was reminded that my way of thinking and I were somehow less than because I didn't possess the middle class "values" of my peers.

Recently I've been reading this book for school called Emotional Intelligence. And one of the chapters in the book talks about understanding others. One of the keys to developing good social awareness skills is being able to put yourself in somebody else's shoes. To try to understand life from their point of view.  It was something I thought I did well; but recently I've been trying to make a concerted effort to try to understand where other people are coming from.

This past week I've been working in the bookstore of the local community college, and it has required me to interact with people from many different walks of life. And instead of judging the person for using their pell grant to buy 3 laptops, I had to ask myself, what if this was the only way for them to afford computer access for their children or their family. I could've been pretentious and scoffed at what seemed to be frivolous spending of federal funds but I took that extra second to rid my mind of a negative thought and instead put myself in their shoes. And I could've been wrong, maybe they really wanted to take the laptops to the pawn shop to get some cash. But thinking a positive thought about someone is never a bad thing.

I will admit, I have a lot of behaviors, tastes, etc. that many would consider "lower class" but that's just who I am. For example, I don't believe in vacations, I've never left the country, I couldn't care less about a passport, and i love Ramen noodles. Maybe you think that means i'm not experiencing life to the fullest. I would argue that you're probably trying to force your privileged life onto me. But if one day I find myself among the financially privileged, I sure as hell hope I'm not too high-class to enjoy a nice fried bologna sammich with the burnt edges. Fry my bologna until it looks like a sombrero #soIknowitsreal

J-Full