Yall Gotta Chill

How much do you think this ring costs? Too much!

So Kim Kardashian finally got wifed up. The professional girlfriend, starlet, celebutante got engaged to her NBA boyfriend Kris Humphries (a dude I barely heard of) and he copped her a 20k ring. Yes that's 20 carats! Good for her. But naturally as is the case with celebrity engagements, yalls extra regular butts start talking about rings. Don't let these celebrity engagements get your expectations too lofty.


I guess my beef with this ring talk is that a lot of people equate the size of the ring with the size of the love in the relationship. People who buy these extra huge rings have problems. What are you trying to prove man? What can a 6 carat ring do that a 2 carat ring can't? Who are you trying to convince that you love her? Her? Yourself? The World? Nah son exit the paint most expeditiously!

Then there's the "I deserve it" camp. Pardon me Miss, but what exactly have you done to deserve a big expensive ring? I'm sorry Pandora but your box just isn't THAT special that somebody out here dropping tens of thousands of hard earned dollars on a ring just so that MAYBE yall can make it to that altar. Do they have engagement insurance? Like if yall break up you get your money back? Probably not. Now I know somebody is gonna say but she's gonna be your wife, bear your kids, blah blah blah. While that stuff may be true...what the EFF does that have to do with spending tens of racks on a ring.  Nothing! Cuz if you really love somebody it wouldn't matter if the ring cost $500 or $50,000. And furthermore what about your equally deserving husband-to-be? If it's about deserve, what does he get? And please don't go there Pandora, see box reference above. This life ain't about what you deserve it's about what you get, so you're either gonna say yes or not.

Now all that being said, I'm definitely not saying you should be cheap when you buy an engagement ring. Because after all, it's a reflection on you too.  When another dude sees your chick strolling down the block in her sundress and freshly baby oiled legs, he'll likely try to holler (assuming your chick has at least a modicum of sexy about her). If he steps to her and sees a baby ring, he's gonna try to holler anyway. But if you get your chick a nice solid ring that sparkles just right, he'll see the ring and realize he ain't really bout that OPP life. Then there are you suckers out here who'll go into Tiffany's and buy the raggediest cloudiest ring they got in there just so you can say you got your chick a Tiffany's ring.  Meanwhile her homegirls trying to figure out why her diamond is the color of mothballs. You still losing sir. You just copped 4 carats worth of diamonds the same color as crack. Meanwhile your boy and his fiance showed up with 2 carats of crystal clear extra sparkly diamonds from a private jeweler and paid 1/4 of what you did. His ring is paid off and you can't even afford to take your queen to the matinee cuz you still making ring payments.

Lastly, there are those women who are saying "I'll just help him pay for the ring I want". Well if you gonna pay for it, why don't you just get engaged to yourself? I wish a chick would say "J-Full I can't rock with this $5k ring you just copped, Ima put 10 stacks on it and get a bigger ring" to which I'll respond: While you're at it find a new man and have a seat with the greatest of urgency!

I'm just not spending 3 months salary on a ring. I ain't built like that. I'd rather save that dough and get us a nice spot on a cul de sac where our future kids can go to good schools. If you out here breaking the bank at the beginning what are you gonna be buying in 10 years? You gotta finish how you start. If you want a big extravagant ring, maybe at the 25th anniversary when our kids are out of college and I know you're in it to win it! I'm all about the upgrade! But hey, maybe I got it all wrong. Maybe that's why I'm not married.

J-Full


P.S.  In the name of full disclosure I didn't always feel this way. But I was 24 and stupid. A lot has changed since then! I'm no longer 24!

#blacktwitter

So a few weeks ago @Steenfox did a blog on her Tumblr about this thing known as #Blacktwitter. Her post apparently caused a lot of beef within the negro twitter ranks. I guess folks are sensitive or something and took offense. It's cool...I'm sensitive sometimes too...it's related to a refractory period or something like that...but alas that's for another blog.

But first off let it be known that I don't even know exactly who #BlackTwitter is.  There are a bunch of folks that I noticed that most of my friends follow. They're very popular and often funny and ratchet. It kinda reminds me of high school where there was this crew called "the light-skinned clique". I don't think they called themselves that but that's what everybody else called them. Then there was this new girl who was with them all the time but she wasn't light-skinned so nobody could really tell if she was in the clique or not. She was what group theorists call a latent member. You know like that person who claims they're a Blood but never rides for the set? I think he also goes by the legal name Dwayne Carter. Or the guys in the "muslim clique" at my high school wearing kufis to match their Girbaud jeans but were chowing down during Ramadan. They get the fringe benefits of being in the group but aren't really an integral part.  But yea basically nobody knows who exactly Black twitter is, or if they have a president, prime minster of ratchet, secretary of foolishness, etc. Doesn't necessarily mean they don't exist though...kinda like the illuminati i reckon.

So after reading Steen's post I must say that I agree with a lot of it. But then I also felt lame. See I get annoyed when I respond to some of these popular folks tweets and they don't even retweet me. Then I see them RT some less funny response. Then I realize ohhh see THEY (the person that got retweeted) must be in the black twitter inner circle and not me. But then I slap myself and stop acting like a bitch. (By bitch i mean a baby, not saying that babies are bitches, just not saying i'm acting like a woman). Afterall most of these people are strangers. I don't know them in real life.  This is merely a virtual world. Sure there are people who by tweets alone seem to live this fantastic life filled with expensive things, fancy trips, the finest sexual partners, lots of money, the most flexible moral fibers and all that. But you really don't know the whole story. Nobody knows what they had to endure to get to that point, or if it's even true. So just read the tweets, and if you don't like what they tweet about just unfollow them. They'll still likely pop up in your timeline on occasion; but hey at least you did your part.

Lastly, this reminds me of something I was told way back when, "If high school is the highlight of your life, then you need to seriously re-evaluate things or start living". The same applies to twitter. If you out here having real live beef with a stranger over tweets, look yourself in the mirror and get a grip on reality! The beauty of facebook is that it allows you to see those popular kids from HS and see how they're 27 and working at a cellphone accessory kiosk in the mall. Not to mention the 4 kids by 4 people. See you never know what you'll find when you pull back the curtain. Meanwhile you're out here slutting out your tweets (metaphorically and literally) trying to get in with the cool kids. The best part of twitter is that you have the power to shape your experience. So unfollow or shut up.

This was no shade to anybody in particular. I love my timeline. But if you took offense, like my grandma used to say "A hit dog will holler!"

J-Full