All I Want For Christmas...

So Christmas is right around the corner. I'm admittedly not much of a holiday person. I'd explain why but it's complicated and I hear people don't like lengthy posts. But one of my fond memories from childhood was putting together my Christmas list. I used to pile it up with as many things as I could find in the Toys R Us big book. Then I got older and realized that the more I asked for the greater the financial burden on those who were buying the gifts. And I also realized there was no way I'd ever get everything on my list. So I adjusted my lists accordingly. Well now I'm 24 and Christmas stopped about 7 years ago at least as far as the getting gifts thing goes. But now I'm older and can buy myself gifts. Well not really but I can plan on buying myself gifts. So I've compiled my christmas list for 2009. I've also included the websites and prices in case you see something you'd like to get a loved one in your life.

Wurkin Stiffs ($35)

These are these nifty lil devices that keep your collar standing up if it's not a button down collar. That's something I struggle with considering i have broad shoulders and a muscular neck.

A Black Watch (Price varies)

I want a watch that can be casual and or dressy if need be. Right now I have a Brown Armani watch that doesn't lend itself to everyday wear. Plus I've been advised to pawn it lol.

Ok well that's all I could think of. This is a pretty lame Christmas list. So I'll likely buy the wurkin stiffs for Christmas and the watch for my birthday.

Happy Holidays,

My Swine Flu Saga

Today is tuesday and save for a little coughing here and there, I feel fine. The cough is kinda weird though. It doesn't feel like it's coming from my stomach like most coughing does. It feels like I'm trying to cough gravel outta my lungs. Ouch. But again I feel much better. I'm going to document my days with H1N1 aka the swine flu.

Monday 11/9- woke up at 7am planning to go to the gym. Didn't really feel like it so I went at night after bible study. My normal gym closes at 10 so I went to another gym near my bible study place that closed at 11:30. I could barely finish my workout because I was feeling too weak. I'm not sure if I had swine flu at this point cuz I hadn't eaten dinner so I chalked the fatigue up to that.

Tuesday 11/10- went to class. In general I was a little cold and tired but I went to bed late the night before so I thought that was the cause. I also had just shaved off all my hair and forgot my hat at home so I thought that might be why I was cold. But it was low 60s that day I believe. That's practically summer in Ithaca.

Wednesday 11/11- woke up with a dry cough. Wasn't debilitating so I didn't sweat it too much. I was still feeling chilly all the time but I had a test to study for so I wasn't worried about a little cough and being cold. I did look like an idiot wearing a scarf and skull cap in the library but oh well. I was still feeling fatigued. I think this is when the swine started to hit me hard.

Thursday 11/12- Felt like shit, but I had a test the next day so I needed to go to class. Suffered through both of my classes. I was freezing and sweating. I tried to stay on campus to study but I just couldn't. I went home took some cold medicine. Took a nap. I woke up and I've never felt so bad in my life! I took my temperature and it was around 100 degrees. Still not too bad, but my body aches felt like I just got out the ring with Mike Tyson in '89. I e-mail my professor to let him know how I'm feeling. He lets me get out of taking the exam the next day. I go back to sleep.

Friday- 11/13 This was by far the worst day of the whole ordeal. I wake up and call student health to make an appointment. They're asking me all these questions about my symptoms. One of which included: Is the area around your mouth turning blue? I'm like:??? Um Ma'am I'm Black, I'm pretty sure that's impossible. There was this 4 seconds of awkward silence. Then she schedules me for an appt at 10:30 with a doctor. Go to the doc, he's running these tests and we're talking and stuff. And I go: Man I've been meaning to get the flu vaccine. i've just been so busy. He responds: well you can still get the seasonal vaccine. I say well what about the H1N1 vaccine? Oh you already have H1N1. Wait, I have swine flu? Yes, yes you do. So they give me a flu kit, some ibuprofen and send me on my way. I stop by the grocery store, wearing a hat, scarf (it was 50 something degrees outside) and sick mask stock up on meds and soup. Get home eat food, nap. Friday evening was the sickest day of my life! I felt like somebody was trying to peel my skin off, while i was in a pot of boiling water, in the middle of antartica all while in a sauna. So basically my skin hurt like hell, I was freezing cold, my skin was burning hot to the touch, and I was sweating like OJ Simpson at a Klan rally. Laying down hurt, sitting up hurt, standing up made me dizzy. I was just tossing and turning in bed all night. I popped some nyquil hoping it would knock me out. It was taking way too long. I fall asleep, only to be awakened a few hours later because I'm lying in a pool of sweat. It literally looked like somebody poured a swimming pool on me. I could literally wring out my shirt, socks, and underwear. it looked kinda funny though. cuz you could see exactly where i was sleeping and what position i was lying in based on the sweat. but it was definitely gross. I was pretty sure I was gonna die this night.

Saturday-11/14 I woke up feeling a little better. Then around 11am the fever came back. 104 this time. So i kep having to change my shirts and socks. So i just decided to go without them and to nap/sleep on a towel. I also told my sister I had swine flu just in case this thing actually killed me. She was trying to fly up to take care of me. I had to remind her I'm a man now, not to mention i'm under strict quarantine. Spent the majority of the day in and out of sleep.

Sunday-11/15 I started feeling better. But I was still under quarantine so I had to miss my baptism. Which I was rather sad about. I was happy to be feeling better though. Spent most of the day lounging and watching football.

Monday-11/16 first full day without a fever, still had the cough though and a killer headache.

Now we're at today. I'm waiting on the nurse to call and check on me. Hopefully I can be back in classes on thursday! I really wouldn't wish h1n1 on my worst enemy. this crap is the worst. I can def see how unhealthy people can die from it. So if you haven't gotten the vaccine, go get it please.

**Breaking News**

I'm officially off quarantine! Prolly will head back to class on thursday. Funny thing is before I got swine flu I was really really depressed. Funny how thinking you're gonna die changes things like that.

A quick note on Capital Punishment

As most of you know, the DC sniper was put to death last night. When they started covering the impending execution I decided to go look him up. When all of this happened I was 17 and just tryna get in some cheeks graduate, I wasn’t really up on the current events like that. So I looked it up and realized dude was convicted of killing 10 people. Killing one person is one thing but killing ten is insanely sick. I’m on this listserve with a bunch of faux activists cats, lots of people were against the death penalty. A lot of these dudes are the ones that try to make an issue out of ANYTHING Always wanting to have marches and ish over what I would deem silly stuff. but that’s neither here nor there.But anyway, I started to think about where I stand on the death penalty. I’m certainly not pro-death penalty but I could understand why someone would be. We’ve all heard stories about crimes so heinous that the only punishment that would even fit the crime would be death. In that kinda situation I can see the death penalty more favorably than when someone kills a single person. Then there’s the issue with innocent people being put to death. That sucks. We all know the legal system is flawed. Juries often rule on emotion and prejudice rather than facts. That’s the game I suppose. To me, that’s one of the dangers of the death penalty. It’s a terminal punishment that can’t be undone. Lastly, who are we as a society to decide when to take someone’s life. Just because they killed someone doesn’t give society that right. If everybody killed a killer there’d be nobody left. (the lone remaining person would be obligated to kill himself). If I was forced to vote on the death penalty, I’d vote against it. But I don’t blame those who are in favor. It’d be kinda hard to turn the other cheek is some maniac murdered my whole family over nothing.

College Ruined Music for Me

I distinctly remember reading "Savage Inequalities" by Jonathan Kozol on the train to my 14+ hr a day summer job. I was working my ass off to pay for Duke. It was the summer after my senior year of high school. We were supposed to read Savage Inequalities for our summer reading, and I remember in high school summer reading was pretty serious. So like a good student I picked up the book and read it little by little on my long journeys to and from work. That book pointed out something previously unbeknownst to me: My high school sucked. That book helped me realize that I had received an inferior education. I figured my school was fine at least by public school standards. But little did I know, there were public schools that were far far superior to mine.

Fast forward to freshmen year of college. I wore super baggy jeans, t-shirts 2 sizes too big, fitted caps and even wore a beater to class on more than one occasion. I was just a poor black kid from the inner city. I was doing what I was used to. Then I started to meet friends who dressed totally different than me. Style that I admired. They dressed fun but mature and they often clowned dudes who dressed like me (though they never talked about me directly, at least not to my knowledge lol). Something about being in college especially a college of Duke's caliber meant I had to change the way I acted and dressed. I was somehow supposed to be above my meager and humbling ghetto beginnings. I was cool with that I guess, I was definitely not trying to end up back in some of the neighborhoods I grew up in.

But somewhere along the line I was expected to change the music i listened to. Lil Jon and Jim Crow and the like were frowned upon outside of the party setting. These were staples in my CD player. It was fun music, music I could relate to. But with my new education I was expected to listen to more lyrically gifted rappers. College did however open my ears up to a lot of new artists and music that I greatly appreciate and enjoy.

I remember being laughed at for not knowing what ATCQ was. Truthfully I had only heard of them in passing. Never knew a song back then. Then there was the whole "this is cooning" phenomenon. "These rappers are making us look bad." Truthfully I never thought of it that way. It was music to me. Southern music, I grew up on some of the most vulgar stuff ever. Booty bass music and crunk anthems were just what I was used to. I did however begin to see how a lot of rap can be detrimental to my community. And it certainly made me a more responsible listener. But truth be told, sometimes I just want to listen to music without having to think about its societal impact. To do the latest dances without thinking about Man-Tan Moreland. To turn my music up to the max in my car with the windows down and not give a damn what the majorities think. Just like back in the day. Unfortunately college ruined that for me.

J-Full